hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
