i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Two words: nipple clamps
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