she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
