this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
