Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
