I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize