woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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