i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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