Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
