i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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