You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize