He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
