Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
