I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
