I cannot find my penis.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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