you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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