Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
