hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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