"it" just moved
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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