i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
