The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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