apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
