yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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