Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
