so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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