I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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