Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
