No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
