I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
