Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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