I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
