dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
