you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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