i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
