Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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