Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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