Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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