WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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