He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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