so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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