Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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