Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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