You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
