Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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