Already got asked if we're dating
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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