I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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