Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he thought i was a dude.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
