Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
