how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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