My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
