The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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