dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
