So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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