this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like his penis was on wheels.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
