Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
