she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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