But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
