so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How external is "for external use only"?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
