He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
