We won't sleep together?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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