dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
