You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
